P.S. The dumb fuck that started the Monument Fire can suck it. Hard. My father is currently in Pre-Evacuation with Mandatory Evacuation becoming a pretty sure thing by the end of the day. Thanks a lot to the asshole who didn’t understand that “no campfires” means…uh…yaknow…like…NO CAMPFIRES! Adding that asshat to my list of people who will be eating my fist if I ever come within reaching distance of them.

P.P.S. Can the Golf Channel get any louder in this house right now?!?!? The volume is so high on the US Open that I can’t hear myself think – as is apparent by the incoherent manner this post has been put together. Large Tunamy boyfriend is lucky it’s Father’s Day…I’m going nuts.

Our next door neighbor has his house lit up a la Griswold, which is nice, I figure I’ll just hope some of the light beaming from his house will light mine up a little. He even offered to hang my lights for me, which was a nice gesture but not gonna happen because A.) I don’t own outdoor lights. and B.) I honestly don’t feel like it.

It’s been a rough year and I just don’t feel even a little “in the spirit”. I hope next year I’ll be back to my maniac Martha Stewart-esq Christmas-y self. But for this year I think it’ll be a low key Xmas for me.

My mom is coming over here for a nice surprise day, I’ll post pictures later…it’s gonna be cute!

“A mother’s love for her child is like nothing else in the world. It knows no law, no pity. It dares all things and crushes down remorselessly all that stands in its path.”

– Agatha Christie (1890-1976), English novelist and playwright.

***Update***
So it went great The stuff I had up my sleeve for mom included:

The Gift: Arlo Guthrie’s Alice’s Restaurant CD – This was a special gift, I remember as a kid that mom would play this on her record player and I would just giggle listening to his song “Alice’s Restaurant”. Mom LOVED it…and I’m wicked happy about that If you’ve never heard of this guy ya may wanna check him out, he’s awesome

The Meal: My good buddy Zeb at Papa John’s Pizza hooked me up with this super cute heart shaped pepperoni pizza! Mom didn’t realize it was a heart shape for a bit, so I had to laugh when we sat down and she went “Ohmygawd! It’s heart shaped!” Too funny…

The Dessert: I had received a tasty sounding recipe at work for a Brownie Martini and decided that Mother’s Day would be the best time to try it out. Our stupid ghetto Walmart had other plans though as they didn’t have everything I needed for it so I just improvised and made a nice little turtle brownie ice cream concoction. Of course mom loved that too Below is the recipe if you’d like to give it a shot, it’s yummy

The Brownie Martini
-Martini Glass
-Chocolate Syrup
-Brownie
-French Vanilla Ice Cream
-Kahlua
-Caramel Sauce
-Raspberries
-Whipped Cream

Using the chocolate syrup drizzle it around the inside of a chilled Martini Glass. Set a small square of brownie in the bottom of the glass, and top with a scoop of ice cream. Add a splash or two of Kahlua and some more syrup over the top of the ice cream. Then drizzle a little caramel sauce over and top with raspberries and a dollop of whipped cream. YUMMY!

I hope all the mom’s got spoiled rotten today

Be safe tonight!

Why yes!

I’m sick. The kind of sick that you can’t lay down and escape into sweet slumber because both nostrils immediately fill with snot and you suddenly stop breathing (which is never a good thing). And it’s the kind of sick that no matter how hard you blow nothing in your schnoz moves but your eye feels like it’s going to shoot out of your head, fly across the room and stick to the wall. The only option is to remain in your full upright position and secure your fucking tray table because it’s going to be a long night.

I figured since I’m miserable then I should come here and bitch about it….classy eh?

Anyway, moving on to more pleasant things — like bringing luck into my life for 2008. I was sitting at my funky old desk at my shiny new job when the lady in the half-cubie next to me asked if I had my peas ready for New Year’s Day. I looked at her a little odd and she proceeded to whip out a little packet with 12 uncooked black eyed peas from her purse.

I guess her family has a tradition of every New Years they make these little packets, one pea for each month and on New Year’s Day puts it in their purse for good luck. She said they also ensure that my purse will never want for money. Beings that our financial situation blows goats this year I’m willing to try anything to make sure ’08 doesn’t follow suit. So tomorrow when we go grocery shopping I’ll be purchasing said peas and will make my groovy little pea packet!

Do you have any weird New Year’s Day traditions for good luck?