My Beautiful Brother Sebasiten
On Wednesday June 11th 2008 I began living a nightmare. I received a call that my only, and younger brother had drowned in a lake while on vacation in Utah. I had just spoken to him two days before and he was so excited to be coming home on the 12th. He told me he loved me and would see me on Thursday, he never made it back.
I’ve spent 20 of my 22 years on this earth with that boy who has been a mix of brother and son to me. I’ve held him, protected him, and loved him more than any person on this earth will ever understand. I have lost half my soul and I can never get it back again. We were a set, a salt and pepper shaker and now all that’s left is me - I hope the world likes pepper because that’s all that they’ll be getting from now on.
I can’t explain the hurt and I don’t ever expect anyone to fully understand what’s in my heart and my mind. Man has not created a word in any language to express the sheer pain and emptiness that has taken permanent residence in my body. I’ve almost lost Sebastien many times over the years and have always managed to find a way to save him. This time I failed and I know it’s not my fault but I still failed him for the final time. I will never be the same and it’s a hell that I will live with every hour of every day of the rest of my life. No one can help me and no one can make it better.
I ask now for prayers for my family and for the girls that were with him when he died. For the people who are wanting to come to the funeral it will be held on Thursday June 19th in Sierra Vista, AZ. If you would like to have all the information, need an address, or need a phone number please email me at sarah.chasse@hotmail.com and I will provide what you need. Do not email me at any other address you may have for me as I’m not home right now and cannot access them to respond.
In lieu of flowers we ask that a donation be made to a memorial account that has been set up for Sebastien, the funds in that account will be donated to the amazing volunteer search and rescue team that recovered my brothers body from the lake. We hope to help them help others that are put in the situation that we have been so violently thrown into. Again, email me at sarah.chasse@hotmail.com to get the information on how to make a contribution.
My brother was a great fisherman and being on the water was his love. I ask from the bottom of my heart that every person that reads this takes a basic water safety class and make sure if you have kids they take one as well. I can only pray that you would equip yourself and the ones you love with the tools to avoid a situation such as this. I would not wish what has happened to my family on my worst enemy and so if you can do nothing else for me just make yourself safe.
I pray for his soul, I know he has found peace and is fishing in the best lake that heaven has to offer. I hope his line stays baited, the water stays calm and the fish are biting.
With my heart and soul,
His Pepper Shaker
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absent.canadian said:
on June 17, 2008 at 3:36 am
Bug, I am *so* sorry for your loss. Many, many hugs, kind thoughts and well wishes for you and your family.
Cowboy Blob said:
on June 17, 2008 at 4:28 am
My condolences and prayers to you and your family.
NYCWD said:
on June 17, 2008 at 5:12 am
There are no words that can be said to ease the pain of this loss.
Just know that you’re in my thoughts during the undoubtedly horrible time.
Karl said:
on June 17, 2008 at 5:18 am
So very sorry to hear about your loss. My prayers are with your family. I’m over here because of NYCWD, by the way.
whall said:
on June 17, 2008 at 5:24 am
I can’t imagine what you’re going through, and although we don’t know each other, the wishes and thoughts I send are real.
B said:
on June 17, 2008 at 5:34 am
Aw Bug, My thoughts are with you and your family right now. I can’t imagine the pain you must be going through. *hugs*
Greeneyezz said:
on June 17, 2008 at 6:20 am
I am so sorry for your loss. My thoughts are with you and your family.
~ZZ
usedtobeme said:
on June 17, 2008 at 11:47 am
I am sorry for your loss. I have a younger brother/son and I don’t know that I could say anything at all to take away your pain. My thoughts are with you and your family.
Avitable said:
on June 17, 2008 at 11:52 am
Bug, I’m so sorry to hear about your loss. What a tragedy - just breaks my heart.
msdramateacherlady said:
on June 17, 2008 at 12:45 pm
I am so sorry to hear of your loss. I will be keeping you and your family in my thoughts.
Patience said:
on June 17, 2008 at 2:09 pm
Sarah, I’m so sorry for your loss. No words I can say will take away your pain because as there are no words to describe that pain there are no words to ease it. You and your family will be in my thoughts and prayers this week and the time to come. When my husband was killed almost 3 years ago I thought there would never come a time when I could laugh and smile when I thought of him but it came. I hope that you also are able to come to that point where thinking of him can bring the bittersweet feelings of laughter and smiles.
Katie said:
on June 17, 2008 at 2:25 pm
Hi Bug,
My family and I will keep you and your family in our thoughts and prayers.
I’m so sorry
Big Hugs to you!
Darkstar said:
on June 17, 2008 at 2:29 pm
Wow, Bug. I’m speechless. I wish you and Momma Bug and your whole family lot’s of big helpful consoling hugs through these rough times. My thoughts are with you.
D’Sar
Jewelz said:
on June 17, 2008 at 4:00 pm
Sara, I am so sorry for your loss. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.
Hugs,
Marla
Sodapop said:
on June 17, 2008 at 6:14 pm
I am so sorry for your loss. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. *hugs*
AmyD said:
on June 17, 2008 at 7:33 pm
Just like I already told you, if there is anything I can do. I’m here. I’m just so sorry. Take care, Bug, you and your family are in our thoughts and prayers.
jane said:
on June 17, 2008 at 8:34 pm
I wish I had words of comfort. Feel our love, know that you are loved & your brother ~ your soulmate, will never be forgotten.
John said:
on June 17, 2008 at 9:30 pm
There are no words I could write that mean anything right now, but I am very sorry for you loss. My thoughts will be with you.
Chris said:
on June 17, 2008 at 11:28 pm
Words are meaningless at a time like this, but I must express my sympathy. You and your family are in my thoughts and I’m so sorry for your loss.
Mattie said:
on June 18, 2008 at 3:32 am
Came here by way of Dawg.
My deepest sympathy and condolences in this time of unspeakable sadness.
Turnbaby said:
on June 18, 2008 at 4:17 am
In August it will be three years since my sister died. I ache for you and the pain you are going through. i am so sorry.
sam said:
on June 18, 2008 at 5:18 am
Words cannot express how sorry I am for your loss. You and your loved ones are in my thoughts.
Amadeus said:
on June 18, 2008 at 5:56 am
Damn, Bug….no words. You and Seb will be in my thoughts.
Miss Britt said:
on June 18, 2008 at 6:54 am
Oh Bug, no words but lots of prayers your way. And a phone call to my baby brother..
DutchBitch said:
on June 18, 2008 at 7:11 am
OMG Bug. It’s been a long time since I’ve been out here and I am SO sorry to see this first time back…
No words can ease your pain or take it away…
Thinking of you…
Finn said:
on June 18, 2008 at 7:49 am
Here through Dawg. You and your family are in my prayers. I’m so sorry.
Lady Jaye said:
on June 18, 2008 at 7:56 am
Here through NYCWD and I wanted to say that I’m so sorry for your loss. You and the rest of your family are in my prayers.
Dutchiestyle said:
on June 18, 2008 at 8:03 am
I am so sorry for your loss. I will keep you, your family and everyone involved in my prayers in the hopes that during this time God gives you a source of strength and peace to pull from.
annie said:
on June 18, 2008 at 8:05 am
Hello, Rachel sent me over here.
I was so touched by your story of your close relationship with your little brother. The way you spoke of him reminded me of my daughter and son, they are also 2 years apart and very close.
It was a very special bond you had with him and I can’t imagine how much you will miss him.
Shelli said:
on June 18, 2008 at 9:19 am
I’m so sorry, Bug. May God be with you at this very difficult time.
Poppy said:
on June 18, 2008 at 9:33 am
Bug, I am so very sorry for your loss…
Fogspinner said:
on June 18, 2008 at 9:43 am
Bug,
I too am here to wish you my deepest condolences. There are no words to comfort your pain. I just hope you know you are loved here and feel all this support.
Hugs, Foggy
Tug said:
on June 18, 2008 at 9:54 am
I’m here via NYCWD, and just want to say my prayers are with you and your family…my brother died when he was 19, I was 20, so I have an idea of what you’re going through.
Many prayers, many ((hugs))…
Kentucky Girl said:
on June 18, 2008 at 11:00 am
Oh Bug, I’m so sorry to hear of your loss. Thoughts and prayers going out to you.
Stephanie said:
on June 18, 2008 at 11:08 am
Here via NYCWD. I also have a brother/son…and my heart is breaking for you. You and the family are in my prayers. So very sorry.
hello haha narf said:
on June 18, 2008 at 11:38 am
i’m so terribly sorry for your loss. in addition to praying for you and your family, i will “pray for his soul, I know he has found peace and is fishing in the best lake that heaven has to offer. I hope his line stays baited, the water stays calm and the fish are biting.”
(that was beautiful. my heart breaks for your loss.)
WebKittyn said:
on June 18, 2008 at 1:20 pm
Bug, I am so sorry for your loss. I’m not even going to pretend to know what you’re feeling but my thoughts, heart and prayers go out to you and Momma Bug. My deepest condolences and if you want to talk, call me.
Dimplz said:
on June 18, 2008 at 1:38 pm
Got here through Dawg’s site. Thoughts and prayers to you and your family.
Evil Genius said:
on June 18, 2008 at 5:19 pm
I certainly can’t imagine your pain, but I more than empathize with you. On March 4th of this year, my step-son, age 21, lost his life as well. I can’t even describe my own pain and feelings of loss, let alone those of my husband, his natural father. Our hearts go out to you, and our prayers will be with you and your brother that you both find peace.
Patrick D. said:
on June 18, 2008 at 6:42 pm
At the risk of repeating everything said, I am sorry for your loss, Bug. I won’t try to think of anything more profound. You’ve got plenty of that from far better folks. Again, I offer my condolences.
E said:
on June 18, 2008 at 11:13 pm
I got linked here from another blog….I am so sorry for your loss…I will pray for you and your family. May you all find peace…..
Lucy said:
on June 19, 2008 at 8:26 am
Bug, I’m new to your blog, got here through NYCWD. I am so sorry for your loss. You and your family will be in my thoughts.
Chris Kenworthy said:
on June 19, 2008 at 4:54 pm
Terribly sorry for your loss Bug. You and your brother are in my families thoughts. *hug*
Lisa said:
on June 19, 2008 at 6:02 pm
Bug, I am so incredibly sorry to hear about the tragic loss of your brother. I wish I had words or something to take the pain away but please know that you are in my thoughts and prayers. You’ve got a lot of support here and if you need anything all you need to do is ask.
XOXO
Melissa said:
on June 19, 2008 at 9:13 pm
Oh gosh, there are no words that can be spoken to describe this horrible tragedy. I got linked here from my sil….May god bless you all and may you find peace soon!
jane said:
on June 20, 2008 at 9:37 am
I’m thinking of you.
lemonade said:
on June 21, 2008 at 11:19 am
I’m so sorry for your loss, I know nothing can make the pain go away now..but hang on…
Bunny said:
on June 21, 2008 at 9:21 pm
Bug! Oh my goodness, I’m *SO* sorry for your loss.
I know the pain of losing a family member you’re close to and my heart goes out to you and your family. There are no words that can make it better, I know, and my only advice is to lean heavily on your loved ones.
You and your family will be in my prayers, and know that I’m sending lots of love and hugs your way.
Momma Bug said:
on June 21, 2008 at 10:02 pm
Bug,
Sweetheart, don’t hold yourself responsible for this. I know this is a very difficult time for us all. I shall miss my salt & pepper team.
Love,
Momma Bug
maria said:
on June 22, 2008 at 8:42 am
I am so sorry. I found this from a link through a link etc. I lost my brother in a drowning almost a year ago, July 21, 2007.
I know haow hard and horrible it feels, and I am sorry. But while time will not heal your wounds, it does make them more bearable. My heart breaks for you, because I know your pain. I am so sorry, again. Be well.
Kimmie said:
on June 22, 2008 at 2:00 pm
I am here via NYCWD…My heart aches for you and your family. I also lost my younger brother 11 years ago. I think about him every day. May the love of God comfort you and your family during this difficult time. Warm Hugs.
Be Blessed,
Kimmie
Charred said:
on June 23, 2008 at 4:56 am
Great is the sorrow of one who grieves alone. That we grieve with you, hopefully, lessens the depth.
Jess said:
on June 23, 2008 at 8:42 am
I didn’t even know you’d posted online about this. I’m still thinking of you Sarah, and wish so desperately I could be there to comfort you myself. It sucks that the closest I can be is a phonecall away. Sebastien was a great boy, he will be missed incredibly. I was so looking forward to meeting “the other Seb” in my life, when I finally get the chance to come down.
I don’t even know what to say. I love you, and I will chat with you soon hopefully. And even in the midst of pure tragedy, you are such an eloquent writer. I don’t think anyone could have given him a better write-up.
Keep your chin up, kid. So many people love and care for you. We all will keep you in our thoughts <3
xulu said:
on June 26, 2008 at 11:14 pm
So, so so sorry
LaDonna said:
on July 8, 2008 at 12:25 am
Oh, Bug…I’m so sorry. (((HUGS))) You’re in my thoughts.