I Want Candy a Menorah

Normally I try to avoid posting “news” articles but this one is such utter bullshit that I can’t help myself. Most of the stuff below is just an off the cuff rant.

Mr. Rabbi,
It’s a fucking airport. If you don’t own the airport then I don’t see where the hell you get off telling them what to put in it. It’s not like the airport erected the damn tree in your Temple or in your guest bathroom for pete sakes. Go build an 8 foot fucking menorah on your own god damn front lawn and light it up from there for everyone if it’s so bloody important.

Or better yet buy an airport, spend billions to keep it running daily and then you can deal with people — like yourself — who have way to god damn much time on their hands that just cause more work for everyone. Then you can have your super-duper menorah lighting extravaganza. Heck you could build the airport in the shape of a menorah, that’d be special now, wouldn’t it?

If you were willing to pay for the materials, labor for construction, and rent a spot at the airport to house your menorah during the holiday season then I could see why you’d be pissy about them nay-saying your idea. But you basically told them “Build me a fucking menorah, I want one.” Hate to break it to ya buddy, but if I asked them to construct an 8ft. statue of The Hotness (because I do worship that fine Jewish body) they’d tell me to fuck off in a heartbeat.

Way to spread the spirit of the fucking holiday season dude; “You’d better put up what I tell you to in your place business or I’ma sue your ass till it bleeds!” Your lawyer is all sorts of worried that the “Jewish community will be portrayed as the Grinch” because of this. Tell him not to worry, the Jewish community is a-ok by me, but I for one just find you sir, to be a little green and hairy. Hey after you’re done with the airport go on over to Wal-Mart and check out their menorah-less aisles…I’m sure you’ll have a hey-day with that place.

Merry Christmas,
Bug

Now people, I know the airport could have kept the trees up, they could have complied and pulled a giant menorah out of their asses to just keep the peace. But yaknow I can see why they just took the trees down and were done with it. If they would have given way on the menorah next thing you know they’ll have every religious nutcase and opportunist banging down the doors trying to make a quick buck via lawsuit.

So the result is hallways packed with gigantic fucking plastic religious symbols in the way of people who have a two and a half minute layover to get from one side of the building to the other with nineteen kids and three luggage carts so they can catch their flight to Bumfucknowheresville to see grandma and creepy Uncle Eddie. Been there, done that, got the t-shirt…the least amount of things in the way the better.

The bottom line is if you don’t celebrate Christmas just think about the tree not as a symbol but as a fucking dead tree with glass and plastic shit all over it, enjoy the nice shiny colors, and GET THE FUCK OVER IT kthxbye.

This entry was posted on Monday, December 11th, 2006 at 10:18 am and is filed under Holiday Madness, Stupid People. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

14 Comments »

Wende said:

on December 11, 2006 at 11:36 am

What gets me, is this association of the Christmas Tree as a Christian symbol. It’s not. And frankly, Christmas isn’t exactly a religious holiday any longer. Some people celebrate it as such, but for a great many people it’s no longer in any way religious. If it were me, I’d just decorate those trees with symbols from every religion and be done with it. But honestly—it’s not like the airport put up a manger scene or huge crosses—then, I’d see the beef. The Christmas tree is only a Christian symbol for those people who are really stretching to include everything OR for those people who are of another faith and don’t understand how completely co-opted the thing really is.

Ooh… this ranting is fun. I should try it on my blog.
rockyjay said:

on December 11, 2006 at 12:05 pm

RED or BLUE pill?
Phelan said:

on December 11, 2006 at 1:59 pm

I heard the story this morning, and my side still is sore from all the laughing. Next we will no longer be able to have our colored lights up in the yard.
Danger said:

on December 11, 2006 at 2:44 pm

OMG ROFLMAO!! I have never laughed so hard… Gawd, I love your blog!!

I’m not religious, haven’t been in a church (except for the occasional wedding and funeral) in my whole adult life. Yet we have a Xmas tree, and I love it. I honestly think Xmas has totally become commercialized, and that the whole idea of opening presents, getting stockings, and leaving cookies (and carrots) out for Santa and the reindeer isn’t about Jesus at all. I am sure someone who is religious might beg to differ… but to me, IN MY HOUSE, the tree represents our love and bond as a family unit, and our wanting to take the extra time once a year to celebrate one another.

I can’t believe he really asked for an oversized menorah. Like WTF… it’s not like the tree was 10x as big as it should have been. Did he just want it to have equal billing? I think a menorah that large would have been an eyesore. Maybe this is why I’m not Jewish?

BTW, since the hotness is a Jew, do ya have little menorahs hanging on your tree this year?
Canopenner said:

on December 11, 2006 at 3:10 pm

Im not going to touch this rant with a 10 foot pole.

But I DO SO LOVE your anti robot filter with the customized werds for me to type in.

That is way cooler than typing 5hye3rf and crap like that all the time.

Nice werk.

:^)

Have a nice day.
LBB said:

on December 11, 2006 at 3:21 pm

First, I just want to write that my word verification was “sexy.”

Second, this is a natural consequence of political correctness: unbounded arrogance of the protected classes.
absent.canadian said:

on December 11, 2006 at 4:52 pm

So how do you really feel?
Amy said:

on December 11, 2006 at 10:00 pm

You are preachin’ to the choir, girl! Keep it up, I’m lovin’ it!!!!
Nocturnal said:

on December 12, 2006 at 3:44 am

That was good shit right there, and better yet; the security word for this post was fuck.

Cheers

P.S. Found via Dawn.
John said:

on December 12, 2006 at 4:14 pm

Ah, that reminds me just how good it feels to have a massive rant about something that’s really stupid.

I dare say I’ll be doing the same when I go home next week and have to spend time with my parents and idiot brother.

Muchos respect to ya, as always.
Debi said:

on December 13, 2006 at 10:47 am

awww My code word was Nerdy…how perfect for me eh?

Ok so yeah this guy is a total asshat…for SOOOO many reasons. I mean yeah I get he feels left out…maybe next year the airport should ask him to come over and decorate with them?

Cause really when I put up my DR. Suess looking multi-colored hot pink with feathers and high heeled shoe ornamenty looking tree I wasn’t really thinking…Gosh I hope Jesus digs this…cause unless he lives in Miami, and is Gay(and neither are a bad thing so don’t go bitching at me people)…I’m guessing he wouldn’t. So Obviously my tree has nothing to do with religion…Maybe that’s what the people at the airport were thinking when they wanted to get a little festive?

I’m guessing here…but yeah…he’s prolly a huge asshat.
msdramateacherlady said:

on December 13, 2006 at 4:09 pm

I haven’t followed this too closely, but apparently a few days later the Rabbi was in the airport again and asked why they took down the trees. He stated that he wasn’t suggesting the trees come down, he just wanted to know why there weren’t any Menorahs.

Seatac over reacted. They jumped the gun thinking that they were going to be sued when it was just a simple question.

By the way, I have discovered that the further East you go the more representation of various holidays you see. Having recently been in New York…Menorahs everywhere, some even on the Christmas trees. I liked that!
3rdtimesacharm( 3T ) said:

on December 14, 2006 at 8:07 am

When I read this article yesterday on MSNBC my first urge was to write a comment saying something along the lines of what you just did! This is taking things WAY. TOO. FAR.

My childhood was filled with all things Christmas, no matter where we went. There was none of this PC BS!

Now my kids? They see “Happy Holidays” and take a “Winter Break” not Christmas break. It’s sad really.

Good rant Bug! Hope you’re surviving the prep work, yet again.
Love ya!

3T
mom said:

on December 16, 2006 at 4:07 pm

..pissy is my word!

,,so BUg, why not post the “letter” from God which basically said what you said, but has constructive things to do..number 1 quit worrying about how people celebrate.