Oh My Gawd…

So in case you’ve been living under a rock I’ve been out of town since Sunday night and have had WordPress auto-publish posts for me whilst Drivin’ Mr. Daddy. I wish I would have had the interwebs available because lotsa stuff happened this week (in no particular order here’s a few for your reading pleasure):

-Old Guy Grabs My Ass in Line at Schlotzsky’s : Ok, now I understand that Wranglers are jeans that make my butt look good. However, this doesn’t give the entire free world license to touch me or my pants…ever. I wear those jeans for work because they are cheap and I prefer not to destroy a $50 pair of pants while doing messy work so I wear $17 jeans. While hanging out in my happy little buggy world ordering my sandwich an old man (and I mean old…we’re talking 80′s+) come up behind me and proceeds to tell me I’m pretty and then grabs my ass as he walks away. Chuck Norris roundhouse kick to the head anyone?

Fucking. Ew.

-Random Homeless Guy Taking a Very Loud Crap in the Public Parking Lot in PLAIN VIEW: Things I NEVER want to be around again….DING DING fucking-DING! I get that you don’t own a toilet man but for fuck sakes go into a convince store and ask to use their can. Or! Or! Or! You could like go somewhere that no one can see or hear you! After I realized what was going on I had a newfound interest in the ground all the way across the lot (and oh what a long walk it was)…my eyes wouldn’t leave my feet.

Fucking. Gross.

-Handmade Soap Arrives: I had ordered a bar of Sweetgrass Cedarwood and Sage handmade soap from Serra last week and it arrived here at my lil’ casa while I was outta town. It was a nice little surprise to come home too, smells wicked awesome and is nice and big so it’ll last me a long ol’ time! If you’re interested in scoring some go watch her blog and she’ll post updates on what stock she has periodically

Fucking! Yum!

-Cleaning-Impaired Women (and men) : Apparently there’s a whole group of middle aged women who need to get schooled in fucking cleaning supplies and what actually works (I know it can be confusing but what the fuck?). Their grubby apartments attest to the fact that their idea of clean is wipe off the ashtrays with a napkin and call it a day. I spent one whole day teaching these ladies how to clean and what the best stuff is to do it with. I’m thinking of setting it all down into a post because I’m sure at least one person reading this doesn’t know the difference between anti-bacterial and the anti-Christ.

Fucking. Duh.

Ok that’ll have to do for now, I’ve got a fuckton of work to catch up on…TGIF dudes!

P.S. And thanks to everyone who wished ol’ pops well, he’s doing great!