Not. Funny. Really.

Y’all I’ve got a rant. It’s not so much a full blown rant but more of a mini-pet peeve that’s been gathering steam. As many of you know I turned 21 at the beginning of August. Since then when I’ve gone out to buy alcohol, go to the casino or get into a bar I’m running into a whole new breed of people. People who think they are not only funny but also are deluded into thinking that they are the most original jokesters out there.

Allow me to illustrate:

I went up to a casino in Payson this weekend, not to gamble but to take in their delicious $2.99 Sunday breakfast special. The ID Checker Lady saw those automatic sliding doors whoosh open and as I stepped through she knocked over old ladies and pushed aside pregnant mothers just to get to me.

“Miss I’ll need to see some ID” she says as condescendingly as possible in her breathless state. Meanwhile, folks try to help up a blue haired old lady whose bucket of tokens were knocked to the floor in the mayhem.

“Sure thing Ma’am.” I whip out my nifty shiny license knowing I was steps away from sizzling bacon and fluffy eggs of goodness.

ID Checker Lady inspects it in minute detail running her bony finger down each line making sure it’s the real deal.

Her finger stops at the Date of Birth line and her face contorts into a scowl. I can hear her subtracting years and months in her head. Much to her chagrin she finds she is unable to “bust me” and looks up.

Then it happens.

The line I’ve heard from gas station cashiers and cocktail waitresses the world over, always said in a hokey-jokey voice that’s meant to be funny.

“Ah, you just barrrrrely made it!”

Then she looks up at me with those expectant eyes, waiting for my reaction to her mind-blowing wit.

Some days I’ll humor the person and giggle while nodding my head like a ditzy moron as if their words were the funniest thing I’d ever had land in my ears. That particular day this pathetic attempt at humor I’ve heard a billion times before just made me realize the time between me and my eating of scrambled eggs has just been extended. And that makes me an unhappy camper.

I give ID Checker Lady a blank look, take my ID and walk away.

Sometimes people just aren’t worth the effort…