Troll- One who posts a deliberately provocative message to a newsgroup, blog, or message board with the intention of causing maximum disruption and argument.

I guess I’m pretty lucky, for as long as I’ve been online (going on 10 years now) I’ve never had a troll of my own. Here at AIS I can count the number of random anon-asshole comments left on one hand. The emails I get about my language and various other bullshit isn’t extremely large in volume but I’d have to say that it’s the closest thing to trolls I have ever had thus far in my time bloggin’. Usually a well worded reply concluded with a verbose “Go fuck yourself.” shuts the email senders right up and those have never escalated into huge public issues. Other times I just ignore them, everyone has a red X on their window…it’s amazing how many people still don’t know how to use it. *rolls eyes*

Many bloggers I know have trolls that literally plague their sites. Some bloggers just brush them off while others get so bogged down by the negative that is thrown at them they simply close up shop and leave the interwebs altogether. Personally I really don’t know how I’d respond if I was to acquire a real troll here. And I’m hoping I never have to find out. But it got me to wondering:

Have you ever had a troll on your blog?
If so, how did you react/respond to your troll?
What made your troll finally leave?

I want to get married to my Mr. Clean Magic Eraser, are there laws in Arizona prohibiting this proposed union? If not then watch your mail for a wedding invite people. Seriously, what else could get those stubborn Code Red stains out of my baby pink countertops? I’m in love.

That is all.

*Yes I know. I’ve said it before, I’ll say it again. There’s something very wrong with me.

Since I posted about Pay Per Post I’ve gotten a few emails from people asking for suggestions on how to make paid posting work for them and for any tips I may have to share. I’ve also gotten a couple emails questioning the validity of my entire blog due to the fact that I’ve done 4 paid posts *gasp* the horror. Here’s some of my thoughts on the topic. These aren’t rules that are set in stone but guidelines I hold myself to when I write in a paid post or non-paid review. Feel free to take what you will from them, I hope they help a few of you out and maybe show the haters what I’m really about here:

-Think about your readers when you are thinking about talking about a product or service. Is this something they will get actual use out of? If so then great…blog on! But don’t pop out random posts just for the sake of the money. You’ll loose the interest and possibly the respect of your readers very quickly. The things I showcase here (paid or not) are things that I really do like, enjoy and think that possibly some of you may enjoy them as well. The getting actual money in exchange for making my opinion public is just a little perk.

In my mind a product I want to recommend should be good enough to tell you about whether I’m getting paid for it or not. When it comes to paid reviews or posts think in these terms: If you weren’t getting paid for it would you still recommend the product? If not then you should let it go and not post about it.

A quick example to illustrate my point: I don’t think I’ve ever talked about golf on this blog. In fact I actually don’t dig golf at all, and don’t quote me but I’m pretty sure that well over half of you reading this don’t give two hoots about golf either. So it would be very strange for me to suddenly post about what kind of golfing products you should buy just because there’s money in it for me. It makes no sense; I don’t care about golf, you don’t care about golf so what the fuck bother posting about it for?

-Use your own writing “voice”. You know your usual bloggin’ style, that’s how you want to write your posts when it comes to paid posting. Readers will be able to pick out a paid post in a hot minute if you suddenly switch from your usual comfortable bloggin’ banter over to greasy salesman fast talk. Honestly think about what you are posting about. Do you really like it? Does it remind you of a story? Find a way to keep the style of writing in tact always always always.

Have fun with the posts, it doesn’t have to be a cut and dry “Here is this Widget, buy it here. It’s good. kthxbye.” Add some color and life into the post and make it enjoyable for your readers to take in.

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Picture this, you’re driving down the Interstate doing about 80mph in the left lane, traffic is pretty light. Suddenly, someone rushes up behind you and tails your ass like they want you to get over in the right lane so they can get by. So you do the right thing and move over but as soon as you do they crawl up to your rear passenger door and just hang there. Forever.

Pretty soon slower traffic appears in the right lane and you need to get back over but can’t because Hurry Pants McHoverDick is staying paced with your back door regardless of your turn signals and trying to speed up faster than them to get around ‘em.

So why is it that once you finally have to slow down to avoid hitting the cars in front of you and you’re side by side with whatever clown is driving they get all sorts of offended looking when you flip them off and mouth “learn how to drive asshat”? Fucktards.

It was a busy weekend for us all. The Granbaby turned three yesterday and we helped her celebrate with plenty of food, toys and a killer cake. She in turn picked her nose for us:

Later on that same day I decided since she looked so cute with her finger stuffed up her nose I’d give it a shot myself:

Obviously photographic evidence proves I’m not anywhere as cute as her during a good pick…feel free to send me the bill for your therapy session after seeing that.

So, I’m now totally convinced that good things come in threes. First I was dubbed feature blogger, then we had the great bday par-tay for the munchkin, finally today I came home to find out that I won the Best Non-Fiction Writing award for my posts during the Blogathon! *happy dance here* Thank you guys who nominated me and thank you to the panel for voting for me…y’all rock the cabbash! I was up against some really great blogs so it’s a total mind blow to actually win

I know there was supposed to be a Yandy post with the new goodies I got this weekend. But between the party and trying to wade through asstons of email it didn’t get done in time *shame on me*. Hopefully tomorrow I can get my act together and write it up.

Muh buddy Danger passed along this link and I’ve been wanting to share it with y’all. The Perception Laboratory’s Face Transformer- This groovy thing-a-ma-bobber uses a photo you upload of your face and transforms your face into all sorts of fun stuff. Check out my face done as a:

Magna Cartoon

Botticelli Painting

Guy

Fiiiiinallllly, let’s talk about Room #813. The Chad has left us *tear* He was a great renter, the toilet seat wasn’t left up once the whole time he was here! Thank you all for going over and visiting him, y’all sure do know how to give people a good run for their credits! Here are the stats from his seven day stay with us:

1544 Hits
506 Unique Hits
93 Clicks
55 Unique Clicks
—————–
Price: 15 Credits

And as they say out with the old and in with the new! The latest renter is the lovely Bianca Roland of Stir Fry Kitty! She also has a cooking blog and a WiFi review blog..quite the busy girl! I love the name, love the blog layout, love the writing…love it! Go on over and say howdy if you have a chance

Thank you to everyone else who bid, hopefully one of these days BE will allow me to pile you all into my sidebar *chuckle*

::Trouble Ain’t Over:: Wonderland or Not::I Am Jack’s Raging Mommy::The Vegan Diet::Grand- Pa::Recommended::Allrighty Then::This Place is Nuts::The Fifth Column::Maldita Bratinella::
::Evolution of Gina::Tense Teacher::Taking a Sanity Break::
::The Foo Logs::Baggage That Goes With Mine::

I promised today’s post would make you bloggers some money. And it took me all day but I’m here to deliver on that! Y’all can get paid for something most of you do on a daily basis How you ask? Come closer and I shall tell you o’ gentle reader.

A neat new company Pay Per Post rounds up advertisers and marketers who are looking for bloggers who are willing to post about their services, ideas and products. They get all the offers put up in one central area where bloggers (you) can go in and pick n’ choose the posts you want to make. I’ve seen offer amounts for up to $35 just for one post so it’s not a bad deal at all considering most of us are doing this shit for free

I joined up in early July and I’d been waiting to receive my first payment before I told y’all about this one because I wanted to make sure it was legit. I did four posts here at AIS to start with. And over the last couple days I’ve received payments for my first two posts ($20) and have $18 more coming my way in the next few days. I made $38 made with just four posts. The money’s in the bank and this is the real deal guys so here’s the scoop:

You simply create an account then pick from this list of opportunities that they pay you to blog about, everything from movies and TV shows to gadgets and websites. You blog about what you like, submit it to the system and 30 days later you get money in your PayPal account (yes you do need a PayPal account). You also are given the option to donate the money you earn from your posts to chairty, they offer direct donation options to Habitat for Humanity and Red Cross. So, if you’re good to go with cash but would like to have a new way to help others it’s an option.

They’ll ask in the signup process who sent ya over and if you’d be cool enough to let them know it was me by putting my email address in the box where it asks: [bug@thelastcowgirls.com] I’d just love you ferever

If you want to sign up just visit:
http://payperpost.com/page/blogger

If you need any help just holler in the comments.

Who knew blog advertising could be so cool?

Ok, so for those of you who haven’t run out of here like maniacs already to grab at the cash….

Ready for the big news?

Are ya really ready?

Really?

Pay Per Post also made me their flavor of the moment so to speak! I’m currently their featured blogger!
See, here’s the graphic thingy on their site:

Pretty neat huh? *giddy* Guys, I feel almost famous, like I’m friends with Oprah’s plumber or something!

Ok enough of that. So anyway go check ‘em out, tell ‘em I sent ya over, and get your asses to making some money already wouldja?

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I’ve got quite a few tricks still in the bag on how to make money bloggin’ and I’ll be sharing them with y’all over time…so keep yer eyes peeled!