I’m thinking about having a t-shirt made for myself. It’ll say across the front:

- Yes, I’m a real blonde.
- No, I don’t have an eating disorder.
- Yes, my boyfriend is really almost 50 years old.
Any Other Questions?

Think of all the time I could save in conversations just by wearing that sucker.

I get a lot of email from people; some folks like to think they are enriching my life with their witty jokes and jack-off inspirational messages. It gets really annoying sometimes. I often find myself wanting to go on a little mini-rampage and kung-fu the first person I see who utters the word “Forward”. However, once in awhile I’ll find a diamond carefully hidden away within the pages of bullshit emails.

This little gem of a video was sent to me yesterday:
(Warning: It’s kinda weird, some of you may get grossed out- sorry)

Obviously this dude gets paid to puke stuff up. It’s a real ability from what I was able to find on the ‘net doing some quick research. But I was surprised to find out that it’s nothing new. This sort of freaky-ass entertainment has been around for awhile. A dude named Hadji Ali was doing the whole gag-it-back-up act back in 1892 (more about that here).

Being the great researcher I am, I also found out this guy’s address–web address that is– do I look like a stalker? *chuckle* Want “The Regurgitator” to perform at your wedding, bar mitzvah, or ruby wedding anniversary? Visit Stevie Starr’s Booking Site! Oh, here’s the Stevie Starr’s Fan Site if you really want to stalk the dude Have a good weekend y’all!

When I was a little kid I used to get so annoyed that I had a bedtime. I swore to myself that when I “became an adult” I would stay up all night every night. Nowadays if my eyes are still open at 8pm it’s a fuckin’ miracle.

What was the “forbidden something” that you told yourself you’d do when you “grew up”?

Last night The Hotness and I drove up to Scottsdale to visit his brother and a couple of buddies from “back in the day” who had flown in for a visit. Now, let me try and help you picture the brother and friends….all these’s boys are from Brooklyn and they are…shall I say…pretty big, Brooklyn-accented, tough lookin’ dudes. I felt like I was smack dab in the middle of a Soprano’s episode.

Eventually the topic of dinner came up. I was excitedly expecting suggestions of “a’Pizza Pie” or a good Italian restaurant (yeah I watch too much t.v. ok?). Boy fuckin’ howdy I was surprised when one of ‘em suggested Sushi. I was waiting for an uproar to come from the others, maybe a silencer or two to be pulled out, but was flat out shocked when they all readily agreed.

So shocked in fact that I completely forgot for a moment the minor detail that I really hate fuckin’ sushi. A lot. I was raised a meat and potatoes kinda girl and sushi…just…no. Tried it twice, was grossed out twice, decided it just wasn’t my bag. But standing in a room with 3 guys who could talk loud enough to rattle the windows and who quite possibly had brass knuckles tucked away in their carry-on luggage didn’t rouse me to any action of protest.

We. Were. Going. For. Sushi. Period.

Next thing you know we’re all loaded up into a brand-spankin’-new glossy black Dodge Charger…a rather ominous looking car if you ask me, and we’re zipping down Scottsdale Blvd. After parking we all start walking down the little boardwalk thingy. You know when you’re walking down the sidewalk and someone’s walking toward you and not moving causing you to move out of their way? We didn’t have to do that. They moved out of ours…fast. I could almost hear that song “The Boys are Back in Town” playing somewhere off in the distance.
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Every once in awhile I’m asked to do product reviews here at AIS. Recently I was contacted to test out a couple of new products, KY Sensual Mist and KY Sensual Warming Mist. After the testing I was asked to tell y’all what I thought about them. I consulted with The Hotness to see if he would be willing to help with this particular review process; I was met with a rousing

“When do we start?!?!”

Men are SO predictable.

After agreeing to the review and receiving the package I must say I was very surprised at the sizes of the products, I expected tiny little packets but they were good sized bottles. I now have enough lube in this house to grease up a big rig y’all. If these are the actual bottle sizes for the products then you’ll totally get your money’s worth.

I loved the packaging…there’s something about the blue and orange colored boxes with a silverish tint that just looks classy. The bottles don’t scream “LUBE”, and that’s great because you can leave it on your nightstand when the mother in law comes to visit and she’ll be none the wiser.

The bottles have curves in all the right places that make it easy to handle them. The caps come off with minimal pressure so you won’t have to keep vice grips next to the bed. I invited every person I talked to after I got the package to hold the bottles and let me know what they thought of it. Everyone loved the colors, the curving shapes and textures of the bottles. It’s an eye pleaser fo’ sho’.

But as the saying goes you can’t judge a book -or bottle for that matter- by its cover. So, The Hotness and I stripped down to test this stuff out and get y’all the inside scoop on what KY Sensual Mist is all about.

I had my pen in hand, notepad at the ready and my reading glasses on. And by the way folks, the three above mentioned items are not objects that should ever be brought into the bedroom…seriously. Someone could lose an eye.

The Hotness’s enthusiasm for doing this product review with me quickly went out the window. I’m pretty sure the “reviewing process” would have went a little more smoothly if I didn’t stop and ask him what he thought every thirty seconds then write down detailed notes. Not to mention, the fact that trying to take said notes “en flagrante” is a helluva lot harder than I originally thought.

A good deal of my notes ended up written across various parts of The Hotness’s chest. Of course trying to decipher both the notepad and “chest” notes today was a bit of a challenge. But I wanted to do a fair and complete review folks -physics be damned. We made it through, and here’s the skinny about the KY Sensual Mist products:

We tried the normal KY Sensual Mist first; the spray feature was great as it helped regulate the amount of lubrication that we wanted. Our hands stayed nice and clean - since you just spray right on the area you want it. There was no messy dripping either, as if the lube knew where it was supposed to be and stayed there. There was no having to wipe extra lube off on the sheets or on each other which usually results in a very slippery mess.

We then tried the KY Sensual Warming Mist. Now, I must admit the warming sensation part made me a little nervous at first. In the past other “warming sensation” products felt more like “the fiery pits of hell have relocated to your nethers“, resulting in a fast dash to the bathroom to cool off. However, the Warming Mist was the perfect temperature, producing a comfortable glow which was pleasantly surprising and very sensual.

Overall both versions of KY Sensual Mist were great products. The Hotness and I recommend them to anyone looking to add a little something extra to their play-time in the bedroom or folks who want a personal lubricant that is by far much cleaner and easier to use. Good stuff people….good stuff ;o)

Oh, and here’s a picture…really crappy but it’ll have to do…I’m a writer, not a photographer mmmkay?

I can only imagine what kind of Google search phrases I’m going to get now…