My parents divorced when I was six years old. It was a nasty divorce and the legal battles continue even to this day. It’s amazing after almost 15 years they still haven’t sorted their problems out. It was and has been a very dark time for our whole family for a very long time. The massive anger between my mother and father is pretty mind blowing.
My parents continued to rage against each other both legally, verbally and physically for years to come. For almost 10 years they couldn’t even be in the same room with each other because they couldn’t contain themselves. But this isn’t about my mother and father. This is about me.
On July 11, 2000 the band Everclear released the album “Songs From An American Movie-Vol. One:Learning How To Smile”. On this album was a song called “Wonderful”. Some of you may know it, others not. The first time I heard this song I totally lost it. Out of nowhere I started crying and screaming like hells demons were after me. The lyrics described me to a ‘T’. It was hard having a mirror shoved in front of my face suddenly like that. After that I couldn’t listen to that song without crying. It hit a very raw nerve somewhere every single time. It didn’t matter if I was in public or not…the tears just ran.
Within the last few years my parents –although still legally trying to out-do the other– have become much more family friendly. They behave themselves when they are around each other. There are no more scenes or yelling matches. They just stay in their respective corners and be cordial. Things are better now. Much better than 5 years ago, sooo much better than 10 years ago.
The reason for this whole post is because today I heard “Wonderful” come on. And I didn’t cry, fuck I didn’t even feel the tiniest bit sad throughout the whole song. I think somewhere along the line I’ve finally grown past the hurt and am now totally at peace with myself. And that’s absolutely wonderful.
Click on the More link to view the full lyrics to “Wonderful”
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