I Like Being Free

I’m not one to shove my ideals down others throats, because honestly whatever floats someone’s boat is their business. I’m not trying to start a debate here…so if you don’t like what I have to say please just come back tomorrow and I’ll have a shiny non-political post for you. Promise

Bug is all about the protection, I don’t “do” unprotected sex. I’m actually a condom/birth control Nazi, Sebastien can attest to that. I don’t preach to him because I’m an asshole who wants to embarrass him or an overprotective “parent” but it’s because I know that he’s young, dumb, and full of…well you know the rest…and I want him to make good decisions.

Every time he gets a new girlfriend we have a little chat. I ask him if she’s on birth control, if she is that’s great. If she’s not I ask why, if her parents know that she’s having sex and would she be willing to talk to me about getting on birth control. And he knows that I will gladly provide him with condoms because I know how to pick good ones. There’s no embarrassment, no shame he trusts me. He knows that when I tell him that he’s too young to destroy some girl’s life by getting her pregnant that I’m right.

No parent can fully control their teenagers sexual tendencies. I’m sorry I have to say it. Kids are gonna do what they are gonna do. Period. My mother thought that I was a virgin until I turned 18 *chuckle* I lost my virginity at 15 (sorry mom). So, I was able to successfully lie about it to her up until she reads this post. I would rather have Sebastien educated, aware and given options about how to deal with sex then sweep it under the tattered rug of “abstinence is the best policy” and have him go make uninformed decisions.

From the very first time I had sex I knew using condoms was a must. I insisted on them, every boyfriend I had knew that if he didn’t have supplies there was no nooky. I didn’t want to tempt fate any more than I already was at that point. I understood I was in no position to have a baby and provide for it much less make sure it had a good life. All I knew was the captain of the basketball team was hot.

I remember after a few times I got a little worried. And I thought to myself, ‘Bug you need to get on birth control so you can be more protected’. So, I scheduled an appointment with my doctor without my mom knowing and saved up a couple paychecks because I didn’t know how much money I’d need to buy this birth control “stuff”. But I was willing to do what I had to.

I got to the doctors office and instead of my doctor being there some guy I’d never seen before and one of the nurses were in the exam room. I’m thinking “Ok so maybe they just need some health information from me prior to prescribing the pills, he’s probably a gyno or something.”

Turns out I was way wrong.

For exactly thirty minutes I sat in that exam room while this guy and the nurse told me that sex is a big thing and that I don’t need pills I really need to practice abstinence. That it was wrong for me to be out sleeping with guys (even though I had just lost my virginity and was still with the same guy), and that they believe the right thing for me to do was to stop having sex altogether. I had never felt so embarrassed. Tears welled up in my eyes as these two strangers admonished me for “doing it”. My face burned both out of anger and out of shame. I left that day with no birth control; they felt they had “convinced me” that I needed to become abstinent right away. Nothing I could say to them would get them to write a fucking prescription.

After I sat in my car and cried out of anger and frustration. I wanted to do the right thing, I wanted to get birth control pills. I was willing to pay for the whole thing out of my lousy minimum wage check. And you know, after all that…after the humiliation and their little speech…you know what I did that weekend? I wound up having sex anyway. Without their pills. Just with the condoms I’d gotten at Wal-Mart. Just like millions of teenagers do every day.

As I reflect on that experience I really wish in vain that I was the only girl to ever have that happen to her. But I know I’m not. There are thousands of girls who were just like me trying to protect themselves and instead they got a shame-on-you sermon and sent on their way. And they have sex anyway. Instead of sweeping people’s sexuality under the rug let’s deal head on with the issues at hand eh folks? People are going to have sex. Period.

One of the things I’ve noticed that’s becoming a large issue is the possibility of Roe vs. Wade being overturned. I do not support this. In fact I think it’s a horrible idea. Women should be free to make their own decisions about their lives. Religion is a touchy subject to begin with, however the basis of this administration is starting to (and I use that term loosely) make more and more decisions seemingly with their religious ideals in mind.

Abortion for me is a grey area. I think it has it’s time and place. It shouldn’t be used as birth control but I do believe that abortion serves its purpose. That’s a whole post in itself. So I’ll leave it at this (and feel free to quote me when calling me a baby killer )…”I’m not against it.”

I’m not trying to sound all feminist but I refuse to ever allow another doctor to shame me when I’m only trying to keep myself protected. I want the laws to protect our rights, I want women to be just a little less afraid of “the system”. I want people to be allowed to think for themselves. Personally I don’t need some asshat I’ve never met making decisions about my body for me. All this said, I’ve signed the petition that Planned Parenthood has started that is demanding that no extremist justices be appointed to the Supreme Court. It may not make a huge difference, but it’s something I can do to try and ensure my personal freedoms.

If you’d like to take a peek and sign just click here. Thank you.

This entry was posted on Monday, December 19th, 2005 at 10:11 am and is filed under Buggie Goodness. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.