SUV Mystery

One of the main roads leading the way to our house is being repaved, it’s a 5 mile stretch, and currently it’s nothing but a white cliche path with orange construction flasher-things down the center. I love dirt roads, they are more fun and considerably less traveled than the paved ones thereby making it easier for me to get from point A to point B.

However, this main road (while it was paved) was highly traveled. So now there’s lots of traffic on a dirt road that is now marked down from 45mph to 25mph. No problem right? Not really, most people haul ass down it anyway (bless their souls) but I do have one BIG problem.

Enter the SUV. Since they first appeared in the autos world I didn’t quite get them. Spend $30-40grand+ for a gas guzzling hopped up minivan (yes I will compare them to a minivan, it’s all about seating). You can’t really haul much in them, first because of the roof then because of the interior that you just forked over your life savings for. The logical side of me just says “Go buy a truck.” But then I figured that maybe I was wrong, these people took their beasts out on the weekends and romped the hell outta them, after all…what else is 4×4 good for?

Fuck no. I’ve noticed that old people in massive caddys and the kiddies in their lowered rice-cars drive faster on dirt roads than the SUV drivers down here. After being trapped on this particular stretch of road with the ass end of an Xterra/Rav4/etc. blocking out my entire window at 10mph I’ve had enough. I’m not in for a Sunday drive through the desert…I’ve seen the damn thing…and I have no A/C and am usually running late for a meeting that started 5 minutes ago. Let’s get the lead out and get on with it already!

Now the irony of this whole situation is that on the paved roads/highways SUV drivers are totally insane. They are the folks flying past everyone, cutting you off, nudging their beasts into your lane while they yap away to whomever is riding shotgun then shooting you a dirty look for not knowing better that because they have a (insert model here) that they have full run of this stretch of black-top so getthefuckouttamywaybitch! *shakes head*

Now, I’ll admit that I drive like a bat out of hell on dirt roads. We’re talking 65mph+, but that’s just because I was raised on them suckers and I know how to do it. If the speed limit is posted 25…go 25…or if you really want to do us all a favor do 35, I can live with that. But please, if you are going to go 10mph and tap your brakes every ten feet because you see a *gasp* small rock in the middle of the road, pull it the hell over and let the big dogs on through. And for god sakes ya’ll…if you spend that cash on a 4×4…use it, otherwise just go get a minivan and stay on the porch.

And I must make a small footnote here…when I refer to SUVs I’m not including Jeeps in this category. Jeep drivers haul some serious ass and I find myself pulling over to let them by quite often…

This entry was posted on Thursday, May 5th, 2005 at 4:36 pm and is filed under Buggie Goodness. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.